Friday, November 13, 2009

Rehashed Reviews Part VIII :: The Surf and Slurp Edition!


And our reclamation project continues with another batch of rehashed reviews. This time, they're a little pruned and soggy, and you might find some sand in cracks where you didn't know you had one, as we head to the beach for a rash of surf-n-stomp romps, mixed with a few ghosts, ancient curses, blood-sucking monsters, homicidal aliens, malignant volleyballs and killer mermaids. I'm telling ya: Frankie and Annette don't stand a chance! Now cue up your favorite Dick Dale tune, and commence to reading, my fellow beachniks!


Destination Inner Space :: Fueled by F/X culled from the bottom of a Captain Crunch cereal box, we have a ton of non-action and un-adventure under the sea as the Earth is invaded by a horde of frozen cocktail-wieners. I wish that was as entertaining as it sounds...

Night Tide :: Dennis Hopper plays a lonely sailor on leave who meets his soul mate in a lonely girl who may or may not be a mermaid. And if she is, she is predestined to kill the one she loves. Nowhere near as moronic as all that sounds. Trust me...

Bikini Beach :: In this third go round with our favorite beachniks, Frankie and Annette, the action moves to the dragstrip, where the terminally off again/on again couple must deal with an invading British hipster, a very talented monkey, and the always dastardly Eric Von Zipper. Heaven help me, but I do love this series so...


The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini :: The last, but certainly not the least, in American International's Beach Party series, sends things out with a bang as a whole can of surf-corn runs smack into some haunted house hi-jinx. High hilarity ensues...


Bimini Code :: Picture, if you will, an Andy Sidaris movie but then remove all the sex, nudity and violence and replace it with extended scuba-diving sequences. Only then will you realize what a soul-crushing experience this movie really is...

Alien Beach Party Massacre :: Updated for the slacker and stoner generation, this mash-up of Beach Party tropes, low-rent Sci-Fi, and Slasher stupidity is a lot more miss than hit. But! It still managed to make me laugh out loud in a couple of spots...


And we'll conclude this update with a spotlight review on one of my favorite movies of all time: The Horror of Party Beach -- the greatest Knock-Kneed, Google-Eyed, Pigeon-Toed and Bratwurst-Bogarting Monster Movie Musical ever made! And as a bonus feature, we have a Tribute to The Dynamic Del-Aires, who taught u
s all who to do the old Zombie Stomp!


No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...